I come from the place just before the light–the stillness where God hovers.

I speak realistically, not in figurative language or metaphor. My reality is unique, I am simply not like most people. This truth gives me a perspective that can't be taught, only experienced and then shared. This is why I decided to start this blog, a space to honestly share my experience, not to be understood but to speak truth.

Genesis 1:2 "The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters."

This verse is one I relate to on a very deep, personal level. It describes how I feel connected to God, and how I communicate with God. I am the void that God hovers over.

Let me introduce myself, I am Void. I have two neurological variations. Aphantasia–the absence of mental imagery–and anendophasia–the absence of an internal monologue/inner speech. My mind is dark, quiet, peaceful. In this space, images do not exist. Color and definition mean nothing here. Words are not seen or heard, they are felt. They are known. This is a space where language isn't necessary or possible in the commonly understood sense. Here, I communicate with God beyond constructs and limitations.

I do not see pictures in my mind. I understand what things look like in concept, but I cannot see it unless my eyes are looking at it. My memories are a sequence of events, felt and understood more than relived. I do not hear my thoughts, I sense them. I tend to think more conceptually but clearly. I do not think in sentences–words do not exist until I speak them or write them out.

This is not a disorder or a deficit, I am not lacking anything. I was simply designed differently and therefore experience life differently. I have spent a long time living in a world designed by and for people who process reality far differently than I do, and through my unique experience, I have learned two major things: Truth does exist and it is absolutely worth fighting for. And I am not talking about subjective, smallminded truth, "You live your truth and I will live mine". No, I am talking about objective, principled, foundational truth. It is real and it means something even when the majority ignore it.

What is this truth? Simple. Jesus Christ. He is the TRUTH. And now you're asking yourself, what does religion have to do with mental imagery? What does Jesus have to do with this girl's lack of an inner voice? These are questions I have wrestled with for a long time and I am eager to answer them myself. This blog is my attempt to explain what I already know is true, from language-less principle expounded out into words you and I can mutually understand. I am not interested in evangelizing, not in the traditional sense. I am simply here to speak the truth and discover what I really have to offer this world.

Thank you for joining me in this introductory post, I hope I've piqued your interest enough to earn a subscriber. I can't promise anything but honesty, transparency, and self-reflection as I explore how my perspective on life, culture, religion, and philosophy can benefit people who are unable to think the way I can.

God bless and stay peaceful,

Void